The BEST Hot Chocolate {keto, paleo, vegan} - Wholesome ...

I started keto about a month and a half ago. I made note of my starting weight & measurements, but I haven't weighed or measured myself since then. This is mainly because I don't want to get obsessive over the numbers, which I have a tendency to do.
What I do know is that my shirts are starting to get baggy, and I no longer have to squeeze into my too-tight pants. Even my shoes fit more loosely. Oh and my phone and keys now have enough room in my pockets! And there’s now room for one more person under my sheets!… Oh wait. Just kidding on that one. But yeah, for the moment that's good enough for me.
A few other things I've noticed:
I no longer dread feeding myself, and I no longer stress about where my next meal/snack is going to come from. Let me explain:
Xarama’s World of Food used to be a relentless cycle of cravings or hanger, pigging out, and guilt. I constantly felt bad for eating too much, eating things I shouldn’t, being fat, “knowing” that people were judging me, eating at the wrong time, eating out all the time when I can’t afford to, eating more than everyone else at the table combined, or just eating, period. I couldn’t help noticing that I was that greedy pig who takes half the cookies at the office party and hoovers up an extra slice of wedding cake before the last guests in line have been handed their first plate. I hated parties, because in my mind, a party was a place where you spend an evening plotting how to get more food without anyone noticing (or, god forbid, forcing you to have a conversation you can’t focus on because THERE’S STILL FOOD LEFT AT THE BUFFET). I felt unable to drive from one place to another without stopping at a donut store or coffeeshop, because in my mind it made total sense to pick up something sweet to feel bad about later. I beat the summer heat by eating nothing but ice cream and watermelon for weeks on end, growing more blubber and ending up even hotter and sweatier and less motivated to do anything but eat another bucket of ice cream. Maybe with a helping of sweet liquor, to take the edge off, just a little longer before remorse kicks in once more.
Every day I suffered knowing I was the fat person at the table. You know, the one who’s still shoveling a mountain of food in their face, seemingly oblivious to the fact that everyone else is long done eating, yet more painfully aware of said fact than anyone else would ever know yet UNABLE TO STOP AND LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYES… Oh the humiliation. The dreadfully bitter, caustic, swirling cocktail mixed up from self-hate, self-pity, and childish defiance. I justified my bad “choices” to myself and others, fully knowing that my arguments didn’t make any sense and that I wasn’t really making “choices” to begin with.
I was incensed by the fact that people treated me like I was stupid, because I know I’m not stupid. But precisely because I’m not stupid, I also realized that I objectively looked pretty damn stupid from the outside. I mean, come on! I clearly hadn’t even managed to stop eating before I turned into a whale, which definitely seems like a Smart People 101 level concept. But I hated the lectures from people who deemed themselves smarter or more educated or more disciplined than I was, the ones who knew all about my heart attack risk and how I should try harder and oh, aren’t I getting a little chubby? and The Diet That Will Work For All People Because It Worked For Me. How dared they assume that I lacked insight into my all-consuming problem, or the desire to change, or the right facts, when I had been trying my entire life to stop being fat, and yes of course I have read about your magic diet and in fact I tried it years ago, thankyouvermuch-but-please-stop-talking-about-my-weight-I’m-so-uncomfortable.
I was never satisfied. I never stopped obsessing. I never stopped beating myself up for being so out of control. I was thinking about food 24/7, and feeling bad about all of it literally all day long. So exhausting.
Nowadays, I plan a quick and easy breakfast before I go to bed. Things like perfectly cooked, fatty, salty, crunchy, uncured bacon (a new discovery of mine!) with poached or scrambled farmer’s market eggs and a fresh garden tomato. Or smoked salmon with capers (cream cheese optional), served on a bed of intensely flavored greens and/or asparagus, with a drizzle of lemon juice and a hard-boiled egg. Or some of that leftover lamb shoulder soup from last night: succulent meat with Brussels sprouts, zucchini, cauliflower, onion, tomatoes in a richly flavored, hot, oily broth. Such satisfying flavors and textures, yum. Such variety. Such vibrancy. And none of it takes more than 10 minutes to make from scratch (or re-heat leftovers from a more elaborate dinner). Oh and most days I like to drink black or green tea with a generous shot of cream… cold or hot, depending on the day’s temperatures. Or a nice refreshing glass of water. I eat a quick lunch: a crunchy salad, or a steamed veggie, or some greens; paired with creamy cheese and olives and nuts, or a hard-boiled egg, or last night’s leftover steak, or a juicy thigh from a rotisserie chicken I grabbed to take home with me and use in tomorrow’s green beans & chicken salad with mayo and toasted almonds.
When I get home from work, I cook a proper meal and sit down and enjoy it. These are not complicated affairs, unless of course I feel like making an elaborate guest-worthy dish, which pretty much never happened in the past and happens quite frequently now. But really, most nights it takes me 20 minutes tops to put something delicious on the table. I eat out significantly less often, and when I do, I usually find it easy to order a dish that I know I will enjoy, all without food shortage panic or regrets. And if I don’t find anything I can eat? Well, then I wait until I can eat something decent later, no big deal. And that’s it. The rest of the time, I truly don't think about eating in between meals. Food doesn’t even enter my thoughts nowadays, except when I fondly think back to the amazing meal I ate last (something that used to NEVER happen, but which happens a lot now), when I’m grateful for how much better I feel thanks to keto (another thing that happens a lot now), or when I go buy more groceries.
Boy do I enjoy what I eat. It is delicious, and it keeps me full. I eat way more veggies than I used to eat for the majority of my life, and not the sugary ones from the Hollywood prop box. (You will learn about this in the next paragraph, have patience.) I even have dessert after dinner: cheese and nuts, berries and cream with bits of dark chocolate, creamy yogurt with cacao nibs, or perhaps a sip (no really, just a sip, think a thimbleful) of red wine, or all of the above if I’m feeling really noshy while ready a book on a lazy late weekend night. Or maybe I’ll enjoy some fine chocolate I had to order online (oh it’s worth the extra time and money), or Greek yogurt drizzled with thick, creamy, what-wonderful-things-are-happening-in-my-mouth-I-think-I’ve-died-and-gone-to-heaven peach-balsamic vinegar. Yes, I said it: Greek yogurt and peach balsamic vinegar for dessert. This is a combination for the inventing of which I probably deserve to be burned at the stake, or perhaps impaled on a stake, take your pick, yes I’ve been reading too much fantasy lately and please don’t burn me to death. But yeah, it’s a wicked good flavor combo: try it, if you don’t mind springing for expensive vinegar. I have dessert every day, and it’s incredibly delicious and 100% guilt-free, and even with all this decadence, my blubber is just melting away with zero effort or forced restraint. That’s right, I don’t force myself to stop at the end of a meal… because I don’t need to. I just stop eating when I’m done. Did you know what that feels like? Because I sure didn’t. But “finished and satisfied” is a thing now. It’s when I feel like I don’t want or need anything else, when I feel rich and spoiled and pleased with I have and what I am allowed to do. What a world to live in for the rest of my life!
Speaking of food: grocery shopping is infinitely faster and easier. Walking through a grocery store now means passing by entire shelves filled with stuff I no longer buy, or even look at. You know... cereal, chips, rice, pasta, beans, baked goods, most canned goods, prepared foods, the entire drinks section, the "sugary dairy" case, the candy aisle, the fruit displays in the produce section... they all feel like some kind of plasticky, dusty relic from the past. Like a thing that used to be magnetic and magical until I saw behind the veil, and now they're OBVIOUSLY just cheap Hollywood props, and I’m tearing down that veil so you can know it too, if indeed you so choose. You know, we gotta spread the love. And the cream cheese. (cue conspiracy theme music)
Anyway, uh… right, grocery store. So nowadays, I hit the cheese section, grab some yogurt, eggs, salmon, and bacon on my way across the store, and end my round by choosing the best-looking veggies (whatever is green plus cauliflower, eggplant, mushrooms, and tomatoes; that’s the rule more or less, when in doubt Google is just a couple swipes away). Pay, boom, done. Time to go home and cook and eat that stuff. I also frequent the farmers' market for locally-grown produce and humanely raised fresh meat and eggs. To think that I used to literally spend hours in the grocery store each week, pondering my choice of sickly colored cereals, picking the “healthiest” type of candy and fattening ice cream out of the many brands that were even worse (gasp), and waffling over which kind of bread or noodles I should buy. And then guiltily returning that ice cream or candy to its spot on the shelf on my way to the register because, come on, I really shouldn't be buying this. And then going back to throw it in the cart at the last moment, after all. Ugh.
I’m convinced now that grocery stores are places of great evil, places that only exists to suck up the precious moments of our lives that we should be spending doing fun things. Like writing a longwinded letter to random internet strangers, just because if it weren’t for other random internet strangers, precisely those who shared their thoughts with me in the past, I wouldn’t be where I am now :)
But wait, there’s more! Cooking is so much less complicated, too. Where there used to be three components (meat/protein, veggies, and starch) there are now only two. That’s a 33% savings, err, reduction in time, effort, and cookery. It’s just one less thing I have to deal with, you know? Yes this sounds silly, but hear me out! I no longer need to spend any of my already-depleted mental energy on trying to decide which kind of noodles/rice/potato/bread/… goes best with the meal I’m making. I don’t need to pick them out in the store, have room to store them in my kitchen, prep/cook them or provide and later wash a pot/dish to cook and serve them in. I have so much breathing room and storage room and workspace now where I used to store pasta, grains, beans, jam, alcohol, sugar, flour, milk, candy, chips, cookies, yadda yadda yadda. Clutter begone! I need the space for fancy chocolate and vinegar, haha.
I’m so much more clear-headed. I’ve struggled a lot with anxiety and obsessive & negative thoughts. Now I just get stuff done: instead of endlessly agonizing over how exactly I should do something, I just do it and move on. I’m not spinning in circles, mentally speaking. I’m more cheerful and less tired. I arrive to work on time (most days). I have more focus. I think I sleep better? (But who knows, I’m not watching myself sleep. That would be weird.) Umm… oh right, more focus. And yeah, you know? I’m happy. I feel like a human being again, after decades of being a junkie. My self-confidence is much stronger, and not because the weight loss is starting to show. To me, keto goes deeper, it goes to the heart of who I am, who I have been all along inside that fat suit. Watch out world, I’m ready to step out.
Thanks to my best friend for introducing me to keto, just by living the example, without pressure or guilt-tripping. And thanks to all of you here who encourage each other, and me. May we all have good food, good friends, and happiness always.
Edit: Formatting

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I am only just starting with a keto diet. I am super excited and I believe that is going to be extremely beneficial for me. I am unable to control my weight or eating habits when I am stuffing myself with carbs so I truly need a proper detox. I have gained a lot of weight recently and have been very tired as a consequence. My only experience with ketosis is from water fasting (25 longest).
As part of my job, I travel almost constantly so it is hard for me to stick to a routine diet. I also go quite often on field expeditions to cold places (Arctic and Antarctic). Whilst there, I am usually at a small base or a field camp for weeks or months. I am just about to leave for a three weeks expedition in a few days.
All cooking at the camp is communal so it is almost impossible to cook special meals just for myself. We don't have any fruits, vegetables, eggs, fresh meat, butter (only margarine) dairy (only powdered milk and some processed cheese) or baked goods. What we have in massive abundances are sugary foods; biscuits, chocolates, granola bars, snickers etc. and that is what is normally eaten during the day in enormous quantities. Dinner is usually some kind of combination of rice/pasta/mashed potatoes/couscous with tinned meat, tinned legumes and sauces. The junk food is everywhere and available all the time, plus it is cold so it is difficult to not to just eat constantly.
Most days, I am working in the field so I eat lunch on the go. Usually we would snack on chocolate/granola bars throughout the days to keep us warm and energized. Obviously that is not an option for me anymore.
I have been thinking about ways to stay keto whilst there. From the foods we have there, I can eat: all tinned meat, sardines, cheese, sausage (usually doesn't last very long), pumpkin seeds, peanuts, tinned vegetables and probably quite a few more that I just can't think of at the moment.
There's a lot of weight restrictions so I can't take much food with me. I was thinking of taking two small jars of nut butters (macademia and hazelnut), powdered eggs, coconut oil, Parmesan cheese, salami, shirataki noodles, cacao nibs, 90% dark chocolate and possibly protein powder. I was also thinking of cooking, grinding and drying cauliflower and taking it with me. The idea is to pour hot water over it and add powdered milk in order to get mashed cauliflower. Not sure if it is going to work.
I will appreciate any advice and tips on how to prepare and what to eat there. Thank you very much.